In this article, Olivia Brouillette from Therapy with Olivia discusses loneliness among expats and how therapy can help you to feel more at home and supported.
While moving to a new country is exciting, it's essential to acknowledge the common experience of loneliness and isolation that expats face. A common theme among many expats who have come to Therapy with Olivia for support has been the lack of a social support system. And while you may still have regular contact with your support system back home, it can often leave us feeling more alone and disconnected than before.
Why is a support system so important?
Humans are social creatures by nature, meaning we need to have people around us and to socialise with others (yes, this includes the introverts out there!). A support system improves our mental health and provides a sense of belonging, something that we all need but something that expats often feel like they lack. While it doesn’t matter if a support system is offline or online (or a mixture of the two), it does matter if it offers mental and emotional support.
The support systems we build are often associated with positive effects on our overall well-being. They offer us a sense of belonging, stress reduction, practical support and advice, and even healthy distractions. People with support systems report less stress than those without emotional support from others, are more likely to take more significant chances in life (i.e. start a new career, move countries), and even feel more secure in relationships and within themselves. This can bring a sense of relief and comfort, reducing the anxiety that often accompanies the expat experience.
While having a support system online is enough for people to see the positive benefits of having support, sometimes being online can feel isolating and lonely. Only being able to connect with loved ones through a computer or phone screen can create a feeling of distance and can even cause us to feel disconnected from the world around us. And when we move abroad, we need to find a way to connect to the culture as a whole or risk loneliness, disconnection, and isolation.
And that’s where therapy comes in.
The benefits of therapy
Therapists are trained to help with all types of mental illnesses and complaints. They’re trusted confidants who will hear you out, judgment-free and help you find solutions. They offer you social support in a way that can be difficult to find with even the closest family members and friends. While this is a great place to start for expats to feel more connected to their new lives, it’s also a great place to learn how to find this type of support outside of the therapist's office and in your everyday life.
What can therapy do to help you build a support network abroad?
Culture shock
A near-universal experience for expats is culture shock, which is the general feeling of uncertainty, confusion or anxiety when you move to a new country. This feeling can create anxiety or fear around meeting new people - maybe you don’t know how to interact with Dutch people or how to connect in a way that feels good to you, leading to feelings of social isolation. Therapists help you cope with these feelings of anxiety and uncertainty, which in turn, helps with relieving the anxiety over meeting new people, thus helping you build a new support network.
Confidence
It's not uncommon to feel self-conscious when you have to create friendships from scratch in a new environment. A therapist can help you pinpoint the insecurities, understand why they’re there and help find you tools to manage these feelings. The more confident you are, the more secure you feel, the easier it feels to put yourself out there and build new connections.
Interpersonal skills
The first major goal in therapy is to create a safe, secure and trusting connection between client and therapist. Most therapists always hope the feeling of security and connection a client feels in therapy will translate to others, helping you create closer relationships with new people. While therapy is an excellent start to having a support network, the work on empathy, communication, and expression learnt in therapy will help you create long-lasting relationships outside the therapy office.
At Therapy with Olivia, you will find a team of psychologists who are all expats and have an intimate understanding of what it means to move abroad and start over. The team understands the challenges that you're facing, and they're here to help. By offering services in multiple languages and using various therapeutic techniques, they aim to support as many expats as possible. Learn more about them by visiting their website and get the support you need!